My favorite love story…

When I joined the United States Army I told myself that I would never date a man in the military. Here I am almost two years into a relationship, and madly in love with a man in the Navy.

Dating in the military always seemed difficult to me. You have to work longer hours than a normal civilian. You travel/deploy and go months without seeing or talking to your loved ones. I wanted no parts in that, but when you find “the one” what you thought you didn’t want might be exactly what you need.

We met in paradise… Hawaii to be exact! With both of us being from Ohio and having mutual friends I knew of my other half Donovan, but I never met him in person. To be honest I had the biggest crush on him. Before I even met him I knew I wanted him to be mine. He was stationed in Hawaii a year before I arrived. Because we had mutual friends we had each others phone numbers and would exchange text and phone calls here and there, but the reality of us establishing a relationship seemed unrealistic because of the distance. (I was in Germany at that time). When I found out I had orders to move to Hawaii he was one of the very first people I told. I had only been on the island for a month before we made it official. We both knew what we wanted, so there was no need to play hard to get.

At the beginning, our toughest thing to over come was me trusting him and him getting used to not only trying to learn my wants and needs, but also trying to figure out how a ten year old boy thinks. This was new for all three of us. He had never dated a woman with a child before and I never had a real serious relationship where a man was constantly around my son. My sons only father figure was my own father. I had been a single mother for so long. It has pretty much always been just my son and I. My past relationships definitely damaged me. Donovan has never given me a reason to think I couldn’t trust him. He has been the perfect gentleman since day one. He opens doors for me, buys me flowers just because, never lets me walk on the outside of the street… all of these things might sound like things a man is suppose to do for his lady, but no man before him had ever done those things for me. I had so many walls built. It seemed too good to be true. I found myself trying to find reasons to not trust him and started creating problems in my mind. I’m sure if I would have kept that up I would have pushed him away.

He’s coming up on a four to five month deployment. During that time our communication will be limited to emails and possibly FaceTime calls here and there. Right after that he will be moving to Chicago for three years. I still have two more years left in Hawaii. As much as I have tried to prepare for this, there really is no way to. We’ve been apart before when he’s had to go out to sea, but never for a deployment. With everything going on in the world today (threats from Korea, natural disasters, mass shootings), the last thing any one wants is for a loved one to leave. Another thing that scares me about this separation, is that we’ll be apart for so long the bond between my son and him will be broken. I’m afraid that I’ll get back to my “miss independent” mindset that I had before we started dating. I’m afraid that I’ll convince myself into thinking I no longer need him.  I wake up and go to sleep next to this man every day and night. I’ve never been this vulnerable…. this obsessed with a man the way I am with him. Before him I hated the word “babe” and these days that’s all you hear me say. He has become my best friend, my human diary, my better half. I just don’t want distance to change that.

So, if anyone asked me if being in a relationship with someone in the military is easy, the answer is no. This love is work. It is needy. It requires a lot of trust and communication. It requires never giving up and holding each other down. In the end though, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 🖤


27 thoughts on “My favorite love story…

  1. Dominique says:

    Just read your story. I can definitely relate to the distance. I met my husband in Afghanistan of all places on a deployment. He approached me when we got back to the states and we started dating shortly after that in January.We realized that we had so much in common and began falling for one another rather quickly. The only thing was i’d be leaving in a few months because I had orders to Hawaii and was not about to change them for any man.
    On Valentines Day he told me he knew he wanted to be with me and was going to follow me me to Hawaii when it was time for him to re-enlist. I thought yes ok whatever, we’d only been dating for a little over a month and i was pcs’ing in April. A few weeks later he actually proposed and i said yes. We got married in March at the courthouse but he promised me he’d give me the wedding of my dreams one day. I’m the type to take my time with things, access, and plan but with him we just knew. So yes we got married after 3 months of dating.
    April came, and i PCS’d to Hawaii not knowing when my new husband would be able to join me. Then about a week later found out he couldn’t join me until 16 months later. I was devistated but we made it work. We flew out to see each other every 2 to 3 months. Called and FaceTimed everyday(6 hour time difference). It was so hard especially when we had arguments. We couldn’t fully make up and see each other and hug and kiss. But it was all so worth it. We’ve been married for 2 years now. He’s now with me in Hawaii, we bought a house, and he gave me the Cinderella fairytale wedding of my dreams like he promised me on our 2 year anniversary with all our friends and family. Now we have a baby on the way due Christmas Eve!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Laura Charles says:

    I love how transparent your post is. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for 3 years before we got married. Although it wasn’t easy we made a conscious effort to make our relationship work. I think you’ve already done the hard work. Getting to know each other and establishing trust. My only advise is to always communicate. Communication is crucial in relationships and even more so for long distance relationships. But I do know that there’s nothing that love won’t overcome. I really do wish you the best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Miss Champagne B says:

    This is so beautiful! It’s funny when getting into relationships that you have to try and figure out the nuances and quirks of each other. It’s like being new at a job and you have to learn you new roles. Lol by the by Ohioan here!! Whoop whoop!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DANIKA says:

    Hang in there! If both of you want if, it will work! My husband and I are both military. I’m in the Army and he is in the Air Force. He had five deployments and I have one plus multiple missions. We have been married 17 years and blessed with a 16 yr old daughter. It has not been easy but it is possible. Love will conquer anything. He is now on terminal leave and will officially retire im January 2018. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Carolina Ramirez says:

    Being a mil to mil couple can prove to be difficult, but when it’s meant to be, there’s no hold bars. My husband and I met the first week I arrived in England. That was it, so funny because I had just written a letter to my mom stating I was having such a great time that I never wanted to get married. Four days later I met the love of my life! We were engaged for 2 months and married at 6 months and will be celebrating our 26 year wedding anniversary on 21 Dec 2017! God is good❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shara says:

    Thank you for sharing your love story. It is inspiring. I am not in the military but my fiancé is in the Navy. I always said I would never date anyone in the military because I feared deployments and the long distance but we can’t control our fate. I never thought our relationship would make it through deployments and we have survived almost 2 years apart. He has been the best man ever and has broken down all fears and stereotypes I had about being the partner someone in the military. Communication has definitely been key and making the most of the time that we have together. Looking forward to reading more blogs. Wishing you two the best. Happy Veterans Day to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Zalieka Gibbs says:

    I met my Navy Sailor online and we definitely made it work. He was constantly gone on underways, did an 8 month deployment but communication was huge! We always emailed, during deployment we’d synch our times so he could FaceTime when I wasn’t sleep. Our love for each other made it easy to accept that his job required a lot. We got engaged the day he came home from deployment in July 2016. He said he knew I was the one because I was there throughout everything and supported him endlessly. Sadly my fiancé died one week after our 1 year of being engaged this July 2017. Military couples are strong because we understand that our relationships require endless sacrifices and time apart but it does work. I wish you two years of love & happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Indacia says:

    Wow my story is so similar to yours. My husband and I met in Hawai‘i while both being in the navy, we were stationed on the same ship, until I got out early for medical reasons. He wouldn’t date me because we were on the same ship, which I completely understood , but fortunately I was getting off the ship early to transition out. So I made sure he got my number as I was leaving the ship lol , and 3 years later we are married and planning on children. Just like you I really did not want a man in the military but when I first saw him I just had to get to know him. He currently has 2 months left on deployment, and I can’t wait for him to get home ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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